Today marks the Summer Solstice. The longest day of the year.
Summer can be an intense season. There is much going on. There is much to do.
This makes sense. The days are longer, it is warmer, people are more social, there is a great deal of growth, beauty and abundance everywhere. It can be an uplifting and exciting time.
Yet, at the same time, it can feel a bit frenetic. Almost overwhelming.
The other day I was taking a walk in my favorite park. I came to a patch of sun and walked in it for an extended period of time. After a bit, I began to feel a bit agitated and irritated. The heat of the sun was beginning to feel a bit too much, a bit overwhelming. At some point my body was asking me, "It's time to find some shade."
I headed back the way I came and the trail was gently covered in shade. The moment my body entered this space, my body and mind felt cooler under the dappled light. I felt more relaxed at ease. It felt soothing.
I felt safe.
Safety not only applies to your physical well being, but to your emotional self as well.
Feeling safe is a full physio-emotional response.
We are hard wired to ascertain if we are safe, or in danger, at any given moment in our lives. It is a deeply subconscious phenomenon. This unconscious process is called neuroception. This can be an on and off again response, as it should be, or become chronic vigilance depending on our respective histories and traumas.
What is often forgotten and overlooked, however, is that we are also hard wired to feel safe.
When we feel safe we can more easily relate with others. We feel more grounded and calm. There is a deeper sense of agency, of purpose.
Our bodies relax, we sleep better, digestion improves, and our breathing is fuller. A cascade of hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin can ripple through our bodies.
When we feel safe, I would argue, we also feel more alive. When we are in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze the deeper pleasures of feeling alive seem distant, almost lost.
It is very helpful to seek, find or create safety as often as you can in your day to day lives. At first it may seem elusive, but over time, you can hone in on what it feels like to be safe with greater and greater ease.
Find and or create environments that feel nurturing and safe. Surround yourself with beauty, minimize distractions and make sure your surroundings are familiar and known to you.
We also need to feel safe within our own bodies. Seek out practices or body work (hint hint. :)) that help soothe your nervous system. This might be meditation, yoga, martial arts or simply going for a nice long walk.
Co-regulate with others. This is absolutely essential. When we are with others who we love and are loved in return, without fear of ridicule or shame, we can feel an even deeper sense of safety. Again, we are hard wired for this as much as we are for seeking out danger.
It is your birthright.
Be creative. Find that safety which is profoundly and uniquely yours.
For me, it was finding shade after too much intense sun. For you, it could be finding sun after being far too cold in the shade.
I wish you a wonderful Summer Solstice, and deep safety.
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