Out of Orbit.

 

www.rolfingseattle.net

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always."  

-Brad Meltzer

Recently I had several conversations with friends and acquaintances who are all going through some very challenging times.  Gut check difficulties.  The type where the mettle of who you are is tested.

My heart goes out to all of them.

If you have lived long enough, it is almost inevitable at some point for this to happen.  To find yourself catapulted out and away from all that was and is familiar.

To find yourself knocked out of orbit.

The loss of a job.

The loss of a loved one.

The end of a relationship.

Health issues.

A pandemic.

Sometimes more than one of these at once.

The familiar becomes foreign.  Who you thought you were was and is no more.  What was once predictable becomes unpredictable.  What once felt settled and secure is now scattered.

If you live a life where such stark challenges never really meet you, you are blessed.  If you live a life where one or more crisis unfolds, you are equally blessed.  For when all things are seemingly falling apart, it is here, if you lean into it, you can find healing, transformation and a deeper sense of belonging.

One of the first steps to find healing in crisis is knowing that you are not alone.  Thinking we are isolated, especially during challenging times, is a reflection of our upbringing and the pathology of our current culture.  This can be the first glimmer of change, when we begin to realize we are not alone, and that there is a wellspring of resources just waiting to help you.

When you face these challenges your mind, body and spirit will go through intense stressors and change.

Because of this it is so important to be resourced.

Resources are people, places, things, qualities or activities that help support and nourish you.  They are fundamental and essential assets.

Social Support.

Make sure you have a strong network of social support to lean on.  In today's digital and atomized age, it is easy to forget that we are mammals, hard wired for intimacy, and that we are human, needing compassionate connection with one another.

We all want to be seen and heard.  We all ache to belong. 

Social support can come from your biological family, your chosen family, co-workers, your yoga mates, neighbors, and even the clerk at your local grocery store.

Finding social support and belonging is especially important during times of intense upheaval.  During these times you may discover how much deeper the love for you actually is.  This can be humbling, and at the same time, exquisite.

People generally want to help.  This might be a friend who is with you every step of the way.  A coworker who checks in with you from time to time.  A family member who steps up and takes over the logistics so you can focus on other matters.  Or it can be a cup of tea from a neighbor.  All of it matters.  All of it helps.  All of it is love.

Don't be afraid to reach out.  Make sure the people you love know what is going on with you, and in what ways they can help you.

When we are supported, we can find even more strength and resilience to meet whatever challenges we are facing.

Nourishment.

Prepare and eat deeply nourishing meals.

When we are under undue stress, we often forget to eat well.  It is essential to find the time to create nourishing meals.  Your body and mind are being taxed.  They need as much support as they can get.

Make sure you eat plenty of organic protein.  Proteins are made up of chemical building blocks called amino acids. Your body uses amino acids to build and repair muscles and bones, to make hormones and enzymes, and to repair cells and make new ones.

Healthy animal based proteins:

 

• Organic eggs, chicken, cottage cheese, yogurt, grass fed beef, fish, turkey breast, and shellfish.  

Vegetable based proteins:

• Organic tofu, lentils, black beans, tempeh, quinoa, pumpkin seeds, almonds, hemp seeds and peanuts. 

Avoid inflammatory and processed foods, even though they might be tasty.  Steer clear of an inflammatory diet such as foods with preservatives, deep fried foods, pastries, processed cereals, white rice, white breads and sugar.

Do seek out and relish nourishing and anti-inflammatory foods such as:  

• Foods that contain omega 3 fats (good fats are essential.)  Salmon, tuna and trout and soy based foods are all rich in omega 3 fats.  So are almonds, walnuts, pecans, flax seeds and chia seeds.
• A rainbow of colorful fruits and vegetables.
• Lentils and beans, nuts and seeds. 
• Green teas and certain spices such as ginger and turmeric.
• Complex carbohydrates, in moderation, such as whole grains, barley, buckwheat, oats, quinoa, and brown rice.
• Various vitamins and minerals such as Vitamin C, D, and E.

Finally, make sure you stay hydrated.  Drink plenty of water.  Water is life.  Water brings nutrients to cells, gets rid of wastes, protects joints and organs, and maintains body temperature.

Mental health.

Find and work with a mental health professional.

I am a huge proponent of psychotherapy.  It takes strength and courage.  It isn't always easy, but it can be deeply transformative.

Inevitably and invariably at some point during any life crisis, if your childhood was less than stellar, unresolved hurts and traumas from our past will be reawakened.  All felt in our mind, heart and body.  All beckoning to be tended to in the most attuned and compassionate way possible.

If these tender hurts begin to vibrate and speak again within, make sure you listen.  It is a golden opportunity to care for yourself in ways you may not have been tended to as a child. 

Even though at first we may think we can navigate these waters by ourselves, it is important to seek out a mental health professional who can help you with this process.

Many therapists have a deep calling where they want to help you.

If you are ever in need of a referral for a psychotherapist, please let me know.

Your body.

Get some good body work.  Whether it be massage, acupuncture or . . . Rolfing.

This is where I come in.  :)

Body work during times of intense stress is essential.  There really is no separation between the mind and body.  Feelings are physiological.  Emotions are of the flesh.  Emotions ripple through the body whether they be grief or rage.  With Rolfing, we are able to help create a container that is more resilient, allowing it all to move through more fully and clearly.

Rolfing can also help reset the nervous system.  When we are under stress, we are coming from a vigilant place.  Our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) is on high alert, for dangers both past and present, as well as for threats real or perceived.  Our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) can be a little bit more difficult to manifest.  We are hard wired to react quickly and swiftly to danger.  Knowing that we can also relax and settle, takes a bit more time and needs some coaxing.

Compassionate touch is so important.  Touch can reduce heart rate and blood pressure. The amount of cortisol (a stress hormone) is also reduced.  Your body needs to be seen and heard as well.  Touch immediately transmits to our entire being that we are cared for and not alone.  This can sometimes be stronger than just words alone.

When we receive quality body work we are tending to our hurts and aches.  We are also awakening and listening to a deeper intelligence within our body that our cognitive mind can barely touch.  This subtle and nuanced wisdom, when listened to and dialogued with, can be instrumental in healing.

Excercise.

Move.  Whether it be going to the gym, yoga, tai chi, martial arts or going for a lovely walk.  

Exercise reduces levels of the body's stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that are the body's natural painkillers and mood elevators

Rest.

Rest, rest and more rest.  When we are dealing with a cacophony of different stressors, we often think, "...but I need to do more, there is something I am forgetting, I need to get to it all now."

Instead, as much as you can, do absolutely nothing.  No agenda, no itinerary, no lists.  Get yourself a comfortable chair, a blanket, a nice cup of tea and simply stare out the window.  Space out.  Allow your mind to wonder and wander.  Here everything can just unfold, allowing your body and mind to integrate all the changes that are taking place.  Slowly but surely, the world begins to open up a bit more, we become more present, and we can find ourselves, even for a brief moment, relaxed . . .

Conclusion.

There are other resources.  All of us are different and may need different resources accordingly.  For some it might be nature, beauty, creating art, or gardening, 

Regardless, make sure all of your resources have a general feeling of support.  Ones that you can lean on.  That carry you.  That hold you.  That soothe you.

After the tumult of being thrown out of orbit, you eventually find a new rhythm and cadence.  With this new orbit, your ecosystem has changed, it is weathered and raw, but somehow more resilient.  This new goldilocks zone may feel even more supportive and warmer, as if your new home is in a better place than before.

Those that have weathered a traumatic event, and have learned from it, have reported feeling more appreciative of their lives in a myriad of ways.  They might have a deeper sense of compassion, empathy, direction and strength they didn't know they had before.  

Above all else, there can be a profound feeling of gratitude.  They have learned that so much in our lives can be taken for granted.  When they discover the temporal existence of it all, their appreciation for their life, and what they have, deepens.  This feeling of gratefulness, slowly but surely, can radiate and grow.

If you ever experience a crisis of any sort, make sure you are well resourced, this way there is a better chance of learning and growing from it all . . . and to heal.