Friday, November 09, 2018

The Shadow and the Light.

The Shadow and the Light.

Many come to Rolfing to find relief from chronic pain.  As your Rolfer, it is my job to work with you to not only become pain free, but to find optimal health.  To do this I hope to work with the whole person.  The light and the shadow of where they are in their lives.  Holism.

Where they are in their lives may not be feeling 100% with all cylinders firing.  Sometimes a client might just be in a difficult and vulnerable place.

Grief and loss are just two states of being that are sometimes scary to explore, but can also be exquisitely beautiful.  It's a part of being human.  Losing a partner, a parent, or even a pet can all illicit grief.  Changing jobs, moving, graduating, breaking up, and even the change in seasons can all be tinged with a feeling of loss.

When clients feel grief or loss, physically they may feel lethargic, off balance, and simply out of whack.  New aches and pains may surface, as well as hard to define somatic symptoms.

It's important to listen to your body during such times.  Underneath the discomfort, all manner of subtle and overt sensations may be rippling through your body.  See if you can follow and listen to these sensations with tenderness and care.  A great deal of wisdom can be found here.

Even though these changes can feel disorientating, I am here to tell you, that this is ok.  Not to live in permanently, but to visit and explore fully.

When we are feeling this way, it's important to honor this space.  Optimal health during this time may not be running the 100 yard dash, doing yoga 7 times a week, or juggling three start up companies at the same time.

Rather, optimal health during this time might be slowing down and helping the body find resilience, support and adaptability necessary to heal and explore a sometimes difficult terrain.

So, rather than trying to transform you into a superhero during this time, we try find support for the body's inherent ability to heal.

A Session

With each session, I am looking at ways for your body to find verticality.  It is the cornerstone of Rolfing.

When I work with people who are dealing with grief and loss, sometimes verticality is not genuinely what a client needs.  We might be able to help them find a somewhat better posture, but in the end, they may still be slumped a bit.  Of course they will.  They are experiencing grief.  And that is just fine.

Our session might be a brief one.  During epochs of radical change, the body is already working overtime to meet the new challenges at hand.  Too much input can disrupt an already tender nervous system.

We might work slowly and methodically.  Paying homage to a deep and sacred process.  Providing support for an already taxed body.  During this session we try to meet difficult emotions or sensations with openness and curiosity.  This can help immensely.

At the end of the session, they may feel a bit more grounded...a bit more balanced.

The grief remains, yet hopefully cleaner somehow.  More full.  Deeper.  Embodied.

There are many things to do for yourself during this time.  It's important to be exceedingly kind to yourself.  Make sure to be with friends and loved ones you trust and feel safe with.  Find and enjoy beauty.  It's everywhere, just look for it.  Nourish your body with nutritious and healthy foods.  Don't forget to laugh.  It really does help.


In time the grief and darkness of such a time will pass.  Even though we may not feel it during such trying times, we can and will enter a much more expansive place.  Laughter and joy felt more fully.  Our bodies more radiant.

When we are in this lighter place, the work we do together changes.  As it is meant to.

There will always be felt memories of this challenging time, but they will be echoes and shadows of their former selves.

What's critical though, is to find the support we need while navigating grief and loss so as to fully integrate all that needs to heal and be tended to.  Then, as we slowly move into a more luminous space, we do so transformed, grounded to relish this new and vibrant landscape.